Should I stay with my pet when they're put to sleep?

The decision to have your beloved dog, cat, or horse put to sleep is difficult and upsetting, no-matter the circumstances. 

Once you know it’s time to put your much-loved dog, cat, or horse to sleep, you might face inner conflict about staying with them during the procedure. Unfortunately, no-one else can make that decision on your behalf, since you’re the only person who understands how you’re likely to cope with and process your pet’s euthanasia appointment. 

However, since many of us, here at Animal Friends, have been through the loss of a dog, cat, or horse, we hope our advice and personal experiences will support you in your choice…

What is euthanasia?

While there’s no right or wrong answer as to whether you should stay with your pet as they’re put to sleep, understanding euthanasia could help with your decision.

‘Euthanasia’ is the controlled act of deliberately ending a life in a painless way, in order to relieve suffering. When anyone uses the phrase ‘to put to sleep’ or ‘putting a pet to sleep’, they’re usually referring to euthanasia.

To find out what happens during a planned euthanasia appointment, please read our article about what to expect when your pet is put to sleep.

Reasons to stay with your pet while they’re put to sleep

The loss of a loved one is utterly devastating, so it’s understandable if you want to be with your dog, cat, or horse as they reach their final chapter. 

We’ll share some of our team’s personal experiences too, to support you in making the decision that best suits you and your pet. Please note that our team shared their experiences anonymously, so we will remove any identifying information from their quotes.

You’re a comforting presence for your pet

If you’ve been caring for them for a long time, you’re probably the loved one your pet feels closest to and, as such, their comfort during times of stress. That means your presence at their last appointment could help them feel at ease and create a peaceful environment when they need it most. 

“I’d spent 14 years with [my pet] at my side so when the time came, I wanted to be with him, he knew it was time and he was relieved. I am grateful that we got to spend his last few moments together, when the time came, he licked my hand to say goodbye and gently rested his head in my hand as he fell asleep. It helped me say goodbye and ease the pain of his passing.”

“The vets were good in letting us have a few days with him as a family. And then on that final day allowing me to be as involved as I was comfortable. I chose to comfort him as the vets did what they needed to do. I would have regretted not being there.”

Being there could offer a sense of closure

By staying with your pet as they’re put to sleep, you’re not only getting the chance to say a proper goodbye, but you may also be able to find closure for yourself. Being with your dog, cat, or horse throughout the euthanasia process might bring you a sense of peace, too. 

“My family opted for a home euthanasia service. It was the most perfect ending I could have ever dreamed of.”

“We had our dog put to sleep, so we had time before hand to give cuddles and spend time with her.”

Reasons not to stay with your pet while they’re put to sleep

A calm, comforting environment is vital – whether it’s a dog, cat, or horse who’s being put to sleep. So, as you prepare for the end of their story, please consider how you’ll feel and how you might react under such sad circumstances.  

Also, in some cases, pet parents won’t be able to stay with their dog, cat, or horse during a euthanasia appointment for reasons beyond their control.

To support you with your decision, we’ll also share personal experiences sent to us by other members of our Animal Friends team. Please note that our team shared their experiences anonymously, so we will remove any identifying information from their quotes.

Your emotional state could upset them

Animals can sense how we’re feeling. If you struggle to keep it together at the thought of attending their last appointment, it may be in your pet’s best interests if you step outside when it’s time.

“Although unfortunately I wasn't able to be present as my most recently lost pet was put to sleep, the vet allowed me to spend as much time with him as I needed following the procedure. Being able to say goodbye at my own pace was a huge comfort, and I am so grateful that I was allowed that space and time.”

“I had to go to the vets to say goodbye to my dog, when I left he tried to follow me, I then had to take him back to his crate, broke my heart.”

You don’t feel you could cope

For many, being present while their family pet is put to sleep could become a traumatic experience that might hinder a person's ability to process or grow around their grief.

“Because of the situation, we didn't have time to process. It was very much an on-the-spot decision. We were shown compassion to be left alone with them however, to give us this time.”

“I think every pet death is very different and nothing prepares you for that day. All of my pets have had to be put to sleep, rather than passing on their own so although (for the most part) we knew the day was coming, all of them bar one has been relatively young which was so hard to come to terms with. As I find going to the actual appointment too upsetting, I didn't go to all so felt like I didn't really get say goodbye, although the days before we did.”

How to prepare for your pet’s euthanasia appointment

Whether or not you choose to stay with your dog, cat, or horse while they’re put to sleep, you can prepare for the appointment as follows:

• Ask your vet anything you want to know – e.g. about the procedure, what happens after the appointment, or ways you can help your pet feel calm and comfortable.
• Plan ahead of time, to ensure your pet has the best last day.
• Decide how you want to remember your pet.

For support before, during, and after pet euthanasia, please reach out to organisations such as:

• Blue Cross Pet Loss Support Service. 
• Cats Protection Paws to Listen. 
• British Horse Society (BHS) Friends at the End. 

We’re so sorry that you’re going through such a difficult time. To access additional resources for free, please visit our Pet Bereavement Hub.